Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History

Well-Behaved Women Rarely Make History

The woman who coined this now famous phrase was one of the founding members of a the Exponent 2 (a feminist, Mormon magazine) along with my mom and others. Laurel Thacher Ulrich is a well-renowned Pulitzer Prize winning author and tenured Harvard professor. I just got back from a fireside where she spoke. It made me think about a lot of things. This is my attempt to organize my thoughts.

1) Success later in life

Much of her "success" (including her education) occurred during and after raising her 5 kids. That gives me hope. Not that I crave worldly success, but the knowledge that life doesn't end with kids nor after kids. Life can go on concurrently with kids.

2) My part in history
A few things she said about history:

• History is an account of the past based on recorded sources.
• History is a shouting match between past and present: the present historian interprets the past.

My interpretation: 

If I don't record my present, I will have no part in history. 

What if the history of the majority of my generation boils down to insipid memes? 

Today I read Jarom, a tiny book in the Book of Mormon. As I read it, I thought: this guy was busy with wars etc. He also had a healthy dose of self-doubt. He didn't think he could add much spiritual enlightenment beyond what had already been written. In other words, there was too much going on in his worldly life, and at the same time there wasn't enough going on spiritually= a great excuse not to record history.

I get it.

 3) My fear and then embrace of church history

Sis Ulrich mentioned 3 takeaways of her talk:

1. Things in the church change.
2. People in the past (in and out of the church) were unlike us: they had a different view of most things. The past is a foreign country, and sometimes a different galaxy.
3. People in the past are a lot like us. Gender issues, etc are not modern phenomena. 

I have a vivid memory from when I was about 5, walking down a street in downtown Belmont, MA with my older sister Alexis. I asked her why women didn't have the priesthood. She gave an utterly unsatisfactory answer; she was born a femi-nazi.
Understanding isn't always in our grasp.

Then there was a freshman sociology class in which the professor debunked all traditional polygamy "excuses": there wasn't an overabundance of widows nor a dearth of men and polygamy didn't increase posterity. The conclusion was that there was no logical explanation for polygamy. 

Logic can't explain everything.

And that doesn't scare me like it used to.

In literature, there is a strategy called "suspension of disbelief"; if you are reading a story about space aliens, you keep reading even though you're not sure they exist so that you can understand the whole picture.

What if we could all practice suspension of judgement: if you don't have enough evidence gathered, common ground, understanding of the circumstances (which we almost never do)... 

Simply, don't judge.

That's applicable to faith, relationships across all boundaries, and mostly everything else. 

Just like Ulrich mentioned, people are exactly like us = look for commonalities!

And people are nothing like us = be patient and kind before reaching a conclusion...
or don't reach a conclusion.

The same goes for faith. Never hinge all that is important on perceived incongruence.
Suspend judgement until facts are gathered.
This often takes a lifetime
or two.

Ulrich wrote an article in the New York Times yesterday. I'm off to read it...

Our weekend

These 2 men went out for burgers and a movie...

while the girls had a bday celebration for Livy.

That night, the kids watched a movie with talking animals abducted by aliens. I skipped the blockbuster to study for my final.

Last night, Claire and I went to the Millennial Choir, which was quite spectacular.

Now I'm signing out to play a game of Phase 10 with Claire. The little girls are playing nicely in the other room. They've been doing that ever since I told Iris I'd only buy her a coveted LOL doll if she played it withe Sybil. And Elijah is at a friend's house.
And then off to Gilbert for a family celebration of Livy's bday and witnessing the first grandkid (David) get the Melchizedek priesthood.

David's weekend

After a few days in Las Vegas for work, David flew out to Nola for his grandpa's 90th bday celebration.

Brunch at Ralphs on the Park

He and Megan went to Jazz Fest with friends. 

I told him that he must do my 2 favorite things there: Eat crawfish bread and go to the gospel tent.

Birthday celebrations

The weekend isn't over for him. He is at the Ortiz house right now and tomorrow will fly home in a private jet. We have both said several times how much we regret me not going out too. Oh well, I guess I'll make it to the next Jazz Fest/ 90th birthday.

Biggest teacher walkout in US history

Yesterday, Arizona and Colorado participated in the biggest teacher walkout in US history. I hear that it affected about 840,000 students and that there were 50,000 people protesting downtown yesterday= a non-snow snow day.

We celebrated the snow day with frozen lemonades and a mean game of Jenga.

Sybil makes Elijah nervous:

Snuggling Sneakiness

I just witnessed Sybil snuggling up with her swaddled baby and settling into her bed, pulling the blankets up to her chin.
This morning, Sybil crawled into bed with me and I swaddled and snuggled her, so I thought she was naturally following the excellent example of her excellent mother with her baby doll.
But as Sybil rearranged herself in her bed, instead of a baby doll, a stollen pack of gum fell out of her swaddling blanket.

Maybe she's more like me than I thought.

Cuteness

Today as I made dinner, I witnessed one of the cutest scenes I have seen in a while:
Iris and Sybil washing Porfirio.
The dog was tied to the chair, but was actually quite calm as they lathered him up, rinsed him off, and brushed his fur.

Here's another cute scene. Elijah invited Sybil and Iris to spend the night in his room. They brought in their sleeping bags and laid them out on the floor. But somehow, this money ended up in the bed with her favorite brother.
That monkey is a bed hog.
Trust me, I know.

This is What Stake Conference Looks Like

Two hours to keep a wild beast quiet and still.

The older couple sitting next to us said I was a miracle worker.

Nope, I just have a few tricks up my sleeve 

(or under my sleeve, as the case may be) 

after 4 wild beasts.

They also asked me if the markings on her arm were permanent marker.

"Not sure, very well could be."

"At least it matches her dress," they said.

Sybil = 3

Sybil's favorite songs which she asks for often:

"Washington on Your Side" from Hamilton

"Can't stop the Feeling" from the movie Trolls

Sybil is extremely independent: 

She always climbs on the bathroom cabinet by herself so 

she can brush her teeth by herself 

and turn the light on and off by herself.

Sybil loves Porfirio.

The feeling is not mutual.

David's two sense about Sybil:

"She's probably the coolest kid we've got." 

(He says that about all our kids.)

Sybil is an airplane.

We had a small family celebration on the day of her birthday.
When we asked her what she wanted for her birthday, all she said was "cupcakes."

Then the family came over to celebrate on Sunday.

I don't think I've ever seen her as happy as she was when we were singing to her.

Sybil always asks me where people are. Where is GG? Pops? Clayton? Livy?....

And she prays for all of them every night.

This lady is one of her favorites. 

My mom and dad pick her up from school on Thursdays and they have a lunch date at Chick-fil-a. Sybil usually cries when my parents drop her off at home.
She likes them more than me. Except when she's tired.

Every Tuesday and Thursday mornings we spend 45 minutes at a park where we feed the birds and she chases dog-walkers around asking to pet their dogs, what their names are, etc.

Sybil still thinks I cannot see her when her hands are over her face. 

This is usually how I find her when I open the car door.

Sybil's new favorite work is "hate." 

She says it about everything and everyone. 

She has no idea what "hate" means except that I hate "hate."
Today, Claire told Sybil, "I will give you a candy if you will stop saying 'hate' for a day."
Sybil: "I hate candy."

The day before her birthday, we went to the train park to meet up with

 Lexi's best friend since Boston days.

It was the last day Sybil could ride the train for free.

Sybil doesn't need toilet paper because there is a toilet seat.
Just slide right off.

Wonderful or Wicked or Wonderfully Wicked?

On the way to school, as Elijah settled down into the front seat, he reached for the radio and said, "Let's get some tunes. I'm going to do a duet."
"Ooh," I thought, "This will be a treat."
Then he whipped out a filled balloon and pulled on it's neck, creating the the most obnoxious duet I've heard.
That's when I grabbed a sharp pencil and aimed at the blue orb.
Last time I did that I was a teenager and Paul Gruwell ended up with lead in his palm.
Thankfully it didn't get to that point today.
As we approached the school, Elijah said, "That teacher is going to have a bad morning."
When does a parent intervene?
He promised he was only going to distribute balloons to be used annoyingly BEFORE school.
Yesterday he took stickers to put on people's back.
Wonderful or Wicked?

Also, I wanted to document that Iris cooked dinner by herself on Saturday. She's been wanting to make sushi for a while now. I was only able to cook the eggs and show her how to roll the sushi before David and I had to leave to see our friends' dogs perform in the ballet.
True story.

Iris finished the BoM!

Iris finished the Book of Mormon 4 months before her baptism 

and for the most part, did it without help.

"When I read, it jumped out of the pages."

The family tree with heavy branches

Sometimes I think this child is possessed.

File this picture as evidence.

This morning, Iris informed me that she needed an extra hairband.

Why?

Because she can tell people's fortunes with hairbands.

The possessed child will have 19 children.

Heaven help my family tree.

Galas

Gala season is upon us.
There were a few professional photographers at the Make a Wish Gala a few weeks ago, so I thought I should post the pics even though I'm not in love with them.
I used to never post pictures of me that weren't flattering.
But I'm getting old enough to be comfortable with my flaws.
And I just read the Isaiah chapters on vanity.

David has a gala this weekend in LV and then a semi-private concert with Keith Urban. I was able to get out of that one, but I think I'll be required to go to 2 more this season.

Tween to Teen

Last night, when I went it to kiss Elijah goodnight, he was looking at a muscle magazine.
Tonight, he was doing a plank on his bedroom floor as I walked down the hall and checking out his abs in the bathroom mirror on my way back.
A few days ago, I found an old baby food jar in the car that was filled with transparent gel. I didn't understand until he reached into it at least 10 times on the way to school followed by copious hair arranging strokes.

A few more Easter pics

We watched the last session of Conference at my parents' house. Sybil went to feed the ducks with Hunt and my dad. Claire and Iris watched it from their fort. You can see my mom also enjoyed it.

Then we painted eggs. We had to paint them instead of dye them because of a mom fail: I bought brown eggs.

They tried to dye them anyway

We finished the night watching the first grandkid open his mission call.

David's going to Nicaragua!

The Name of the Game

Last night I listened as Elijah taught Sybil how to clean his room. It would have been much, much, much faster if he did it himself, but obviously, Efficiency isn't the name of the game.

He has also trained her to torment his sisters. Today Elijah directed Sybil to hide Claire's eraser, hit Claire, and now he's trying to make Sybil clean Claire's room (his punishment).

One day, Sybil won't be so willing.
Although, he often bribes Iris to clean his room, paying her in massages and time playing with his toys. So, he can probably ride this out for at least a few more years.