the 30th year

My birthday included blowing out a candle over a bowl full of flaming hot cheetos (Note to self: expect showers when blowing out a candle across from Elijah); I remembered why I haven’t eaten them in years. Nap with Claire. Youth temple trip. Dinner with David. Movie at home while David did the laundry. A good day all in all despite the fact that I still can't find angel food cake mix in Manhattan.

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There have been certain moments in my life when I have felt really old: turning 10 and knowing that I’d never be a single-digit age again, walking across campus at boarding school, driving a van full of my friends to TP someone’s house, riding in an airplane by myself on the way to the MTC, teaching a charla in Chile, sitting next to David as we drove away from the Baton Rouge temple, teaching myself to drive stick shift at 3am in freezing Ann Arbor, trying to vote while two kids fought for my attention, editing a manuscript, having Elijah in Primary with me last Sunday (his poor neighbor got quite a beating), turning 30.
This year I have often found myself stroking the skin where my neck meets my chin. I’m starting to look different, and besides my imaginary loosening skin, I can’t really put a finger on what it is exactly that makes me a decade older. Wisdom? Crows’ feet? Varicose veins? Perhaps all of the above. Perhaps it’s just Father Time. Perhaps I’ll wear a purple suit coat with shoulder pads tomorrow. Maybe I’ll get a perm and break a hip while I’m at it.


PS. Someday soon I will put up the Christmas post. The number of pictures to sort through has been slightly daunting.