David-like children

I would like to dedicate this post to all those parents out there who have active, energetic, loud, unruly, David-like children.
Note: I write this in the wake of the last of a series of monthly parent/teacher conferences.

David and I are some of the younger parents at E’s school. We are also unique b/c our children don’t have additional caretakers, besides yours truly. I get several comments about the lack of one along with “how do you like having 3 kids.” Smirk, smirk and a glance at my disheveled appearance and screaming, disheveled children who likely dressed themselves in clothes that fit another sibling, have bruises from any number of accidents…you get the picture. Is this just me being paranoid? Yes, sometimes.

And the monthly parent-teacher conferences on how we can be better parents aren’t too helpful either. I want to write a note-to-self to read before all such future conferences, because I’m sure there will be many:

Self,
No matter how the teachers accuse you, the fact that your child has extra energy in the classroom does not reflect a lack in parenting nor is a direct result of the IV of pure sugar you insert in his arm daily. Praise the teacher profusely, be an advocate for yourself and your child and inform the teacher that everyone has weaknesses. Fortunately immaturity is usually grown out of. When he is a president of the universe, you will call her, laugh, and hang up. So Ms Teacher, criticize the lunches I pack for him all you want (because you already do), criticize my age, number of children, parenting techniques, or lack thereof, absence of a second, third and 4th caretaker for them, but neither I nor my child need therapy from you nor anyone else.
   You’ve tried prayer, positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, rewarding, bribing, praising, reading parenting books, pulling out your hair, pulling out their hair, and praying some more.

IT’S NOT YOU. It’s your wonderful, beautiful, loveable, adorable, crazy children. If they end up failures, it’s probably not your fault (even though they may say it is). If they end up successful, it’s probably not your fault either (but you have earned the right to say it is).

   So smile at the teachers, praise them that curse you, and give that crazy little kid an extra squeeze and maybe even a lick on the cheek, b/c dag-nabbit they didn’t get those genes from the stork!