Perks

Don’t judge me (although I would if I were you)… but my son has a chauffeur.
I personally think it sounds pompous; therefore let’s think of it as a one-sided carpool, or a favor done by a paid friend. Listen, I’d love to be a soccer mom, but not at the risk of our lives. When traffic standards become predictable instead of a matter of shifting personal opinion, mood, or personality maybe then I can join the ranks and drive my son to soccer. Meanwhile, I am able to put Iris to bed on time b/c I’m not sitting in traffic for between 0.5 and 1.75 hours.
Today I drove for the first time in weeks? months? Not sure. It was for the sake of visiting teaching. I figured that if I die on that errand, exaltation is guaranteed anyway.
Again don’t judge me (although, again, I would): someone cleans my house twice a week.
I know, I know, I’m spoiled. This is a perk of living in Mexico—cheap labor. The best part is being able to leave the girls at home if they are napping when I have to go pick up E from school.
The following picture demonstrates why we absolutely need (almost as much as the air we breathe) someone to clean twice a week.Does this make you want to move to Mexico?
Wait a minute…
Now, a non-perk. In the past 8 days I have had herpes (of the mouth, of course), severe pink eye in both eyes (we’re talking swollen eyes cemented shut with my own diseased muck), and food poisoning not once, not twice, not even thrice, but 4 glorious times. Actually, come to think of it, maybe this is the work of an amoeba, or a parasite. Okay unruly inhabitants, you are welcome in my body as long as you shed 5-15 pounds off my love-handles. But I'm disappointed in your work thus far; actually helping me pack on the pounds by getting happy right around the time I usually go running is not acceptable.
Anyway, I was getting used to the runs 1-2 times a month, but this week I hit the bowel jackpot! I know everyone is riveted by the activities of my nether regions, come on, it’s hard not to be! And don't worry, you will be updated frequently.