Analysis of data from the lives of Garcia children (n = 2) in a prospective cohort study of Tourette Syndrome has found that the disease is, in fact, contagious. Although the results are not statistically significant, I am 99.45% positive they will be robust if applied to children exposed to the same circumstances. Symptoms include random outbursts of noise. As evidenced in one such subject, severe screaming erupts upon sighting a squirrel, then chasing the animal and targeting it with almonds*. Another subject incites vociferous ejaculations as a means of personal entertainment. In conclusion, I recommend earplugs.
*No animals were permanently injured in the course of this research.
Oh man, I've been working too much lately!
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